Enough? July 24, 2008

I have had some interaction today with a person who totally exaggerated the truth of who they were, of what they had done, and of what they plan to do.  I know that because I got to be the fly on the wall during a conversation they were having.  I wasn’t eavesdropping. . . I was supposed to hear it!!!

 

Why don’t we ever think we are good enough?

 

That’s a loaded question, I guess, but I am wondering why we find the need to exaggerate who we are.  Why do we stretch the truth about our accomplishments and our adventures?  Why do we always think that who we are NOT is more impressive than who we are?

 

And, do I do that?  Do I believe that I am not enough? 

 

Today I am praying that I remember it is enough for me to be made in the image of God.  I am praying that it is enough to know that Christ loves me exactly as I am now.  Today I am praying that God’s plans for me are exciting enough for those around me.  Today I am praying that everyone around me remembers these things about themselves as well.

Is kidnapping a crime? July 23, 2008

I have had two days of non-stop emotions.  There has been tons of fun had by all with so much laughing that my sides are still hurting.  There has even been some crying.

 

Last night a group of us went to see the Jesus for President tour with Shane Claiborne and Chris Hall.  I don’t know if I even have the words to explain what that was all about.  

 

Let me first say that there were some great points.  And, all in all, it was an awesome night.  It just was not anything like what I expected.  I loved the passion that these guys showed for Christ and a way of life that can change the world.  A life full of love for everyone.  A life that is Christ-centered in everything.  A life that I am not sure I can lead but so desperately want to.

 

I know that doesn’t sound funny, but when things are different, sometimes they are humorous.  And, we went with people who just make me laugh.  I mean, look at these pictures.  I think they say it all!!

 

 

Do they need explanations?  I don’t know if McDonalds or Raleigh will ever be the same.  And, who knew that so many people ate at McDonalds at 10:30 at night.  I am just so old that I usually don’t see that late.  That’s what hanging out with people younger than you will get you. . . A LIFE!!!

 

Tonight, however, was a totally different night.  There was some laughing, but I did a lot of crying.

 

Don’t ask me why I am so emotional.  But, I went to see the African Children’s Choir tonight and, if I could have gotten on the bus, one of them would be living with me!!

 

It was such a blessing to watch them perform tonight and see the joy that was in their eyes.  And, to see the hope.  The hope for a better future and a better life.  I don’t even think they believe that life is with a new family.  I think they believe they are going to make that life a reality in Africa when they grow older.

I don’t remember ever feeling that way.  I am sure I did, but tonight, I felt like I could do more.  Tonight I felt that yearning to change the world.  Tonight I felt thankful for all that I have and the friends that I have been able to spend time with this week.

CRAZY!!! July 21, 2008

So, I saw it.  It was good.  I will say that.  But, I am so disturbed by how crazy and demented it was that I can’t get past that.  Brant says it best, and I definitely couldn’t do it better.  So, go here.

I’m Exhausted! July 19, 2008

Why is it that when you do nothing, you are more tired?

 

That is exactly what I did today.  I watched 3 episodes. . . .count them, 3. . . of Beverly Hills 90210.  It is my favorite thing to do on a Saturday.  (And, can you believe that they are coming out with a spinoff?  The anticipation may kill me!!)  I finally forced myself off the couch to learn some music and eat lunch around 1:00.

 

I know. . . it’s hard to be me!!

 

But now, I am exhausted.  I mean, I did have to sing at church tonight.  That wears a girl out, right?  Not really.  It was nice to have some motivation to, you know. . . move. . . today.

 

And, on a totally unrelated note. . . every time I go somewhere with a bottle of Fiji water, someone tells me how expensive it is.  Let me state, for all of those who haven’t asked yet. . . I got it on sell.  And, I am refilling the bottles and risking the poisons that leak from the plastic.  I don’t know if I will ever buy it again!!  It is getting a little ridiculous!

What am I afraid of? July 17, 2008

It’s about 7:20 in the morning.  I have been at work for about 45 minutes.  I am sitting in my office in the dark, with only the light of the computer screen because Sierra has gone back to sleep before she heads out to summer school.

 

The darkness is a funny thing to me.  At night, when I go to bed, there is something so peaceful about it.  It is calming and relaxing.  But, when I walk into a room and it is dark, there is always an edginess (is that a word?) to me.  I am a little nervous about what is there and sometimes even scared.

 

That is so funny to me.  What is there to be afraid of?

 

The fear of the unknown can be so gripping sometimes.  It is so hard to completely trust God and believe that he will guide and protect me according to his plan.  It’s the thought that his plan might involve something difficult or scary that gets me.

 

This morning, however, I am just spending some time with him.  Letting him love me and remembering that I love him.

I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it! July 15, 2008

 

Have you heard the news?  And, have you heard this?

 

I am totally amazed by this guy’s voice.  I love that he is trying something completely new and brilliant!!

 

Phil recorded a night of live worship.  I sat down to watch it via my computer screen for a couple of seconds.  I watched the entire thing.  His passion is evident and his talent is beyond comparison!

 

So, spread the word.  August 8 is the day.  SING ALONG!

Just another reason July 15, 2008

I have never been one to be that ready for marriage.  There was always school, then starting a business.  I am good at coming up with excuses.  But, for about a year or so, I have been open to the idea.  Just open, and some days even really dreaming about it!  That doesn’t mean people are knocking my doors down for dates, though.

 

Dates. . . what’s that???

 

I know, I know. . . all you married people just envy my alone time.  The quiet time I have with myself and my thoughts.

 

Well, let me tell you, my thoughts aren’t really that interesting!!

 

So today, I came across this.  Just another reason to want to tie the knot!

Still learning! July 14, 2008

I have a lot to learn.  And, I hope I always feel that way.  There is something so exciting about being on the edge of learning.  It’s sometimes a scary feeling, but it just seems like a door is opening up for so many possibilities, so many conversations, so many new people to meet.

 

This week, one of the things I learned was that the written word is not always the best way to communicate.  And, the blog world is still not understood or valued by so many.  I found myself explaining things that were written and then attempting to explain the value of a blog and the community that forms and develops.

 

The conversation left me with more questions than answers.  I am OK with that, but it has me thinking.

 

I don’t update my blog regularly.  (I know. . . don’t throw things!)  I also filter the subjects that I am willing to talk about on this blog.  I get personal, but I hope I don’t ever do that in an attacking way.  But, is that the point?  Am I so worried about offending and being misunderstood that I am not being real?  That is not what I want at all.  But yet, we get angry, sometimes, when people are real.

 

And, if I were to have a disagreement, of some sort, on this here blog thing, would I personally contact the person it was with?  Is the community being built here that true and authentic?  I would like to think it is, but that’s not always the case on some blogs.

 

I don’t know. . . these are thoughts that are floating in my brain on a Monday morning.  I totally value the community that is built on a blog and am 100% behind the opportunity to do it.  I see the benefits and have experienced them.  How do you explain that to someone who hasn’t, though?  Can someone who just reads blogs but never “jumps in” even understand that?

I’m just sayin’. . . July 9, 2008

 

Martha Stewart’s got nothin’ on me!!

Revelations July 4, 2008

No, not that crazy book in the back of the Bible that all the pastors in my life avoid teaching me about.  I had a revelation tonight.

Now, for those of you who know me, you will probably be stunned that I didn’t realize this about myself.  And, I have to admit that I think I knew it, but I was reminded.

I am so LOUD!  I had dinner with some friends last night and, as I was walking out the door, I realized just how quiet it was once I was leaving.  

What is that about?  Why is it that I have so much to say when I am with people but I have to make myself write on this blog?  Why am I at a loss for words here but never in “real” life?

I am pretty sure when I heard all these lessons this week about being quiet and hearing the still, small whisper of God, that was really just a way to tell me to SHUT UP!  I AM THE NOISE!